Tuesday, December 20, 2011

The Rules of the Workout

Because it's been getting colder out, I've been using the Y for their gym when I go on my runs.
Between spin class and the gYm, I would like to discuss my rules of the workout.



1) Don't  approach me after my workout. I don't care if my bloated, sweaty, red face reminds you of your Uncle Boris - you leave me alone. Please.


2) Please don't smoke a cigarette right before working out and then try to cover up the smell by bathing in Calgon body spray. It just makes you smell like a hooker that works at the corner of Ames and K-Mart.


3). If there is a row of empty treadmills, don't get on the one right next to me. I don't want to be inches from your sweat and hot breath.

4). If you have broken rule #2, DEFINITELY don't break rule #3. I think I'd have an easier time breathing if I was smoking a cigarette while running than if I was smelling your hooker funk.



More rules to come, but I have to shower, finish a paper, and pack for VT in the next hour and forty-five minutes.

Until Tomorrow,

J

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